Beauty and the Beast Goes the Way of the Sparklepires

Stephenie Meyers should be shot in the forehead for ruining all "monsters" from here on out. Not only are vampires MAC Cosmetic representatives now and werewolves travel in abdominal baring packs, but the Beast is a bald guy with tattoos. Don't worry though, he's super sensitive (once he gets ugly, yet still very fit) and all he needs is some plain jane girl to give him blue balls, since girls don't give it up in fairy tales.

As an aside, which Olsen is this? I feel that it should be both interchanging every 15 seconds just to give teenage girls something else to talk about in forums.