Need: Boob Mousepads

What says "hey, I'm a respectable guy with a lot to offer the world?"

If you said: A career
                   A home (not your parent's)
                  A sex life

you'd be wrong. The appropriate answer is booby mousepads.

I think I'd get one if it were like a Hugh Jackman's package mousepad. Yeah.

Hugh Jackman Looks Good In Pants

That's really all there is to this. So...

People Like Guys With Claws, Who Knew?

Not even the leak of the entire film weeks ago could prevent slightly overweight basement dwellers from forking out their dough to see Hugh Jackman half naked and beating things up. Wait, I think I should go tonight. The movie grossed $87 million this weekend. I made that yesterday at my stripping job. And by that, I mean $2.15 and by stripping job I mean picking lint out of my bellybutton.