Final Fantasy XIV North American Trailer

Well well, it looks like the Fantasy that should have been over in the 80s so says itself is heading towards its second iteration in the MMO community. Let's watch and discuss.

I have nothing to say.

Thank God For Japan

After the proper Christian shame following masturbation, my second thought is "Oi, I wish I could see those little buggers up close!" Well thanks to the Japanese (crazies) they have a microscope just for that. That's correct, this handy dandy micro is exclusively for guys to watch their swimmers die. Bless you Japan, bless you.

Need: Boob Mousepads

What says "hey, I'm a respectable guy with a lot to offer the world?"

If you said: A career
                   A home (not your parent's)
                  A sex life

you'd be wrong. The appropriate answer is booby mousepads.

I think I'd get one if it were like a Hugh Jackman's package mousepad. Yeah.

Maybe I DON'T Want To Visit Japan

 

Oddity Central has posted some pictures of a rather bizarre event that takes place in Japan. (weird right? odd things don't happen in Japan) So two fat Japanese people get in a ring lined with fluorescent lights then said fat people start being the proverbial shit out of each other with said lights. Sounds fun? These crazies in the front row seem to think so. And Jesus, he approves. 

Japanese People Are Evil

Can you think of any other excuse? No wonder they're so bad at driving, they're nervous wrecks from the tv there.

I'm Confused

You tell me.


You.
Tell.
Me.

Why The Hell Not? Japanese Arcade Game

It seems the entire point is to disrupt the dinner party? I disrupted a dinner party one time. Got a hotdog stuck in my...place.

Oh My: Tengu Egg Masturbators (A Bit NSFW)

Right...just right.

10 Weirdest Theme Parks/Attractions

Odee.com has compiled a list of the most unusual theme parks from around the world. I, personally, want to take a ride on the Great Expectations Log Flume, the only way Dickens isn't dry as a bone. (hey-oh) Check out the list here

Thanks to Matt for the tip.

Angel Knee Pillow: For Those Who Can't Aim

Tenshi no Hizamakura, which translates to "Angels Knee Pillow", is a Japanese device designed to prevent toilet mishaps for men (ie peeing on the back of the toilet, your cat, the front door). It's seriously just two pads on platforms for guys to get on their knees.

Seriously, is this a big issue? Why don't we just teach Japanese men how to urinate? I need a job, I could give a boot camp.

In Other Female Anatomy News: Breast Bombs

That has to be the most awesome movie I've seen ever in the history of everness. This is exactly why Asians are good at math. Math and being skinny. Math and being skinny with funny mustaches.

Japanese People Confuse Me: Penis Festival

Thousands of people descended on the streets of Kawasaki to celebrate the Steel Phallus Festival. That's right, they have a day devoted to the dong. Tons of giggling old women and flamboyant homosexuals parade around eating penis shaped candy. I mean, I do this every Saturday around 7. No one has ever had a parade for me.

Note: Guy in background of picture will probably have very dark photos.

Apparently Tora Tora Tora Has An Entirely Different Connotation...

Um...Yes. So apparently over in Japan you can play the claw game, but with boobies! Look at that poor Winnie the Pooh machine next to it, being all full. While the Tora (cubed?) machine is practically empty. That's because Japanese children have their priorities straight.

I want seven of them. I want to tape them to my face and rampage through town. "Grrr. I am Boobs McGillicuty, feed me spaghetti! Grr"

Here Comes Another (Delightfully Japanese Stereotypical) Spiderman!

Dude, I'm just on a kick apparently. I couldn't not post this though. This is the 1970s Japanese TV show bearing the namesake of our 3rd favorite man who was bitten by a spider.

Who knew that The Power Rangers would take almost all of their ideas from Spiderman? The French, that's who.