Promo Piece Numero Uno

Here we go with the first piece of a promotional set I'm planning on placing everywhere I exist in the world. There's not much to say, look at it, be visually pleased. Go about your day.

Bearded Men Watch Jake Gyllenhaal Bleed, Look Good

Here's yet another production still from The Prince of Persia movie. I'm 100% sure that by this point we've seen all the key shirtless scenes in photo form, so going to the movie will be wholly unnecessary. Having said that, look at those abs...and chest...and arms...and face...and stuff....

Score! The Geocities-izer

Oh the late 90s, when it wasn't about what kind of content you had, it was how many swirling animations and MIDI streams of "Don't Speak" you could cram in. Now, thanks to this ingenious website, you can get that sense of hot mess nostalgia on any site in the interwebs. Waste your day transforming the rest of the internet by going here.

Super Metroid/Mario/Link/Mega Man Brothers

New Grounds has released a playable version of Super Mario Bros. with tons of classic 8 bit characters, so you can go through all of SMB while playing Link or Samus. I couldn't make it through the second level, because the controls are slightly wonky to me, but feel free to try it out. It's cool simply cause. Go get your gaming fingers sweaty here.

Sandra Bullock Fights Nazi Husband With Black Circumsions

I hear some people like Sandra Bullock and perhaps "The Blind Side" inspired her to promote white people saving minorities or something, but she has announced that she adopted a little black baby. :: cue awws and general indifference ::

The real fun part comes when, during her interview talking about her Nazi propaganda toting soon to be ex, she discusses holding a bris for the child (for those of you not in the know, that's a Jewish circumcision ritual). Take that Hitler, black babies with no foreskin.

Christina Aguilera: 20 Years Of Blonde Women In One Video

I really don't know what to say about this. It just premiered about two hours ago and the comment board on the site is less than kind. Do you think it's copyright infringement if she has pretty much shot-for-shot scenes with Madonna's Human Nature? Does Gaga have her eye circling trademarked? Someone call Gloria Allred. Also, is that the staircase from parts of Express Yourself? Is she doing this on purpose? I have officially given myself a headache over a goddamn Christina Aguilera video. That's enough.

Also, due to a bit of the F bomb, the video is NSFW.

Lizzy Caplan Looks....Sex

Here's everyone's (my) favorite Party Downer looking all hookerish? Sexy?
Well, she is mostly covered...by her boots. She posed for a series for Complex, and here's one of my favorite shots.Regardless, I'm just happy to post something about her. Enjoy.

His Super Power Is Space Conservation

I just found that kind of fun. I wish I could come up with something that handy. I don't exactly wish to live in a slightly larger proportioned cardboard box...but I wouldn't mind my walls moving around. That'd be neat...and stuff. Enjoy the Asian prowess.

New, Shiny, and Green

I haven't the faintest clue if you've noticed, but aaronthebond has underwent a slight Restylane treatment. Gone are the bright vivid colors, in are the dark...vivid...colors.

A new theme with the site is "fighting the plastic people", in short this is an extension of the site's progression in the past year. There are plenty of posts showing what is actually awesome out there and being overlooked and pointing out the follies of the "popular" culture at large. Continue to look for the same kind of posts, just with a more fleshed-out sense of awareness that people like you trusty readers are responsible for making sure good music, design, movies and culture make it out beyond your screen.

Most importantly (well somewhat important) is the awesome new "Reactions" feature. You can leave immediate feedback on a post without those pesky "comments" and "typing" things getting in the way. Make sure to utilize them so I can figure out what is and isn't flying over so well and improve the general quality of the posts!

Also, from here on out, you should be able to share links to people's facebooks. I'm not 100% sure that it works properly yet, so just let me know if there are issues. UPDATE: This shit doesn't work. Sad. :P

Thoughts? Queries? Concerns? Anything? Leave me a comment....make the pain of loneliness go away...


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More! Unintenional Porn

Just when you thought to yourself "self, you know what I haven't seen in approximately a week? Accidental porny things. I wish I had more" Jesus I have found more! And, like the saintly figure I am, I am sharing it with you. It's here. Go.

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Star Trek: Deep Space 9 1/2"

I don't know if you can even read this on this screen. You may be able to enlarge it by taking the arrow of swift terror moving around your screen at your will and "click" it to make it magically larger, but remove all the yummy content from your view. The choice is yours.

To click the image, go to page 47

To continue, go to page 32

If you haven't checked out comixed for some reason, go to it here.

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I'm Predictable: Buried Poster

If there's one thing Aaron likes: it's sans serif capital type treatments. If there's another, it's an extraordinarily simple layout. If there's...another...it's Ryan Reynolds in my bed a box. This poster has nothing going against it. Except there's no dong....well not until I go into Photoshop.

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Pretty Hardcore: Candyland Tatoo of Doom

Yeah, she felt this was necessary. Now, I don't know her or anything about her: but I bet this is a semen placement game. With children. Pedophile.

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Blog World: Better Than Apples

Do you enjoy random smart-ass humor? (of course you do. you are here.) You should head over to Better than Apples then, because unless you really enjoy apples, it is.

Cisco gave the tip, and apparently knows these people. Way to go Cisco, fo sho, other word ending in "o" for the general amusement of rhyming.

Check out the site here.

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M.I.A. Has A New Video, Kills Some Redheads. NSFW

M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.

So not only does Lady Gaga feel compelled to be the new Michael Jackson with ten minute music videos, M.I.A. has joined in as well with her new hyper-violent clip for "Born Free", the first single from her new album.

If your boss isn't offended by brief nudity, exploding bodies and foul language, feel free to watch this one at work. If they might be offended by any or all of the listed content, send them an email link to it (with a nice note of course).

Beauty and the Beast Goes the Way of the Sparklepires

Stephenie Meyers should be shot in the forehead for ruining all "monsters" from here on out. Not only are vampires MAC Cosmetic representatives now and werewolves travel in abdominal baring packs, but the Beast is a bald guy with tattoos. Don't worry though, he's super sensitive (once he gets ugly, yet still very fit) and all he needs is some plain jane girl to give him blue balls, since girls don't give it up in fairy tales.

As an aside, which Olsen is this? I feel that it should be both interchanging every 15 seconds just to give teenage girls something else to talk about in forums.

Unintentional Porn

Holy taco (yes, I was excited about that name too) has posted a series of 25 examples of accidental porn. Since everyone I know enjoys being peed on, I chose this as the main image to give you guys something to relate to. Enjoy.

The rest can be found around about here....somewhere.

Hadn't Seen: She & Him's "In the Sun"

She & Him - In The Sun from Merge Records on Vimeo.

My straight crush on Zooey Deschanel has essentially been fortified times twenty with this. I want to hula hoop with you, on a Golden Girls themed yacht in a sea of naked men. (no fatties) yes, I think this is healthy.

Hell Yes: LOST Tarot Cards

I lied, this totally fixes all my earlier problems. Flickr user  Alex Griendling (gravitybomb) has designed a series of LOST inspired "tarot" cards that scream awesome from every pore. I had a terrible time determining which one to use as the main picture. I decided to go for the character who had the most potential and the show completely squandered just because he went through puberty. The rest are freaking brilliant, check them all out here. 

Who The Gay Hell Gave This Person A Job?

In other questionable design news, Disney has released a poster for their upcoming "Sorcerer's Apprentice" movie featuring Nicolas Cage playing Nicolas Cage pretending he can act. If it were 1987, or if it were a fantasy novel for a low-end publisher, I would have no objection to this treatment.

Since it is neither of those things, i now have a design headache. One that only Futura can cure.

Blog World: The Daily Bunny

Have you ever thought to yourself "self, I would be so much happier in life if someone would compile a website that puts a new picture of a bunny up every day"? Well if so, go get a job. When you are done with that, though, check out the daily bunny. A website that....puts a new....picture of a bunny up....every day.

Check out the humpy goodness here.

Thanks to Emiliana for the tipiana.

Glaad Decides Ink Is Out

Glaad has announced on their official site that they (obviously) had a revamp of their image and brand strategy. The old separate dots coming together bit is gone in favor of what (personally) looks like an orange juice brand concept. Don't get me wrong, it's lovely and all(ish). I just am somewhat still lost on the conceptual weight behind this branding.

Tom, I need a new logo for this glaad thing.

Oh, well here, I have this really neat swirly thing. Will this work?

MY GOD! It's brilliant. We can tell them the peely-megaphone thing means integration and...loudness. They'll love it. Throw some glitter in. 

Confused: Hanson "Thinking 'Bout Somethin'" Video

Thinking 'Bout Somethin'

HANSON | MySpace Music Videos

So here's a new video from you know, those kids...from 1997. I still have a crush on all of them and I know I'm sad for it. Regardless, enjoy the dance-y goodness inspired by the Blues Brothers (or so I'm told). I know nothing of these Hermanos Azul.

Finally! Scissor Sisters Album Due June 28

The Scissor Sisters have finally gotten their act together and set a release date for their third album, now entitled "Night Work". They also released the cover for the album, which features an 80s man with a firm booty.

Life is good. Also, you can head to their official site and hear a sneak peak of one of the tracks (initial reaction is it isn't brilliant, but it could possibly grow).

In other news, that looks really uncomfy.

I, Too, Once Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper

So, as you very well may know, for the past year I've been kind of hung up on the Repo! The Genetic Opera soundtrack. Sarah Brightman plays Blind Mag in the film and "Chase the Morning" is kind of musically genius. I had heard of her before, but without Giles from Buffy slaughtering people in the same piece, she slipped under my radar in life. Now I fully understand the folly of my ways. Enjoy this hot mess with Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip back from 1978.

Glitter, Star Wars references and smoky goodness, all in one.

Oklahomans Are Upset At Jesus'....Stomach?

This ten-foot tall crucifix in a Catholic church in Oklahoma seems to be causing quite the stir (I can't possibly imagine why). Many are pointing out the obvious, that Jesus looks like he is super, very excited to die for our sins...and that he has such a giant dong. The church faculty, however, is saying that the area in question is indeed just the Lord and Savior's super ripped abs.

Several people have left the church over the piece, while others seem to be completely ok with the seemingly bonerific death scene. The artist (bless her heart) apparently has not left a comment on the matter.

I'm Behind, But Jennifer Knapp....Congrats

Christian singer Jennifer Knapp has made the announcement this past week that she is a lesbian. Knapp rose to stardom in the Christian music scene with her debut album Kansas. When I was in high school, and trying to figure out how to go about living, I dipped into the Christian music scene. Knapp's gorgeous voice and obvious passion lent a sense of immediacy and connection that I had not felt with any other artist in the genre. I became an instant fan. As I grew up and realized that the Christian life was not only not for me but shunned me at every turn, I began to stop listening to the music associated with it. I never forgot how her music gave me chills at times, though.

I'm very happy for Jennifer in her decision to be honest with her fan base, regardless of the obvious threats it brings to her career in the CCM market. She, however, is going to be touring with Lilith Fair, so surely she will find many more people who can connect with her outside of the market she's in.

Best of luck Jennifer, I'm ecstatic you can be honest with yourself and the world and continue with your loving relationship.

New Yoav Video

I've been trying to find his new album (through certain means) and I haven't been able to stumble upon it. I saw him live back in '08. I don't remember him being at all possibly cute. Perhaps it's just the walking backwards thing that's doing it for me here. That or the drugs.

The Fringe Musical Is Coming

On April 29th, FOX will air the musical version of Fringe (a la Buffy and Scrubs). I haven't watched any of the second season, as I often wait til the seasons are over and watch them all at once, but it's tempting to get around to watching the rest to see this.

The story takes place in Walter's head, and should be pretty insane...and awesome.

Yeah, She's Cool: Alexa Meade

This is a lady. Like, this is not a painting of a lady-like thing a ma doodle. This is a lady. Standing there, in her, lady...ness.

Artist Alexa Meade paints the subjects of her work (she's an installation artist) to look like part of a two-dimensional piece. I now officially want to go to DC even more now, just to try to get a peek of her insane awesomeness.

Check out some more pictures and info here.

Awesome: Pixels

Yes, I'm aware this is on like every website ever since the dawn of man, but with good reason. Patrick Jean put together this rather neato short involving videogames that even I don't remember all of (and I'm old). Watch, enjoy, quake in fear next time you play Tetris.

Straight Company Gets Confused, Gay

So this homo-erotic nugget comes to us from Mineral Water (you know, even more black Gatorade (oh I kid, I don't know what black people drink, I've never seen one)), they were the people who hired 50 Cent (because plurality is apparently a negative) before for their campaigns. The product seems, through my experience with its advertising to be marketed to young, heterosexual males interested in sports. So, logically, they put half naked men stretching one another and moaning "harder, David, harder".

I want some now.

I Have Cool Friends

So, one of my online best buds decided to do a series of portraits of all his facebook friends. I, being both an Aa name and naturally awesome, was at the top of the list. I literally giggled with delight at how cute he made me.  :: giggles in delight again ::

Thanks B, you're just kind of neat.

Dorkgasm: Resident Evil: Afterlife Trailer

No, the movies aren't any good. No, Milla Jovovich will never be quite as cool as Leeloo Dallas. That doesn't stop her from trying. Nor does it stop me from paying money to see her attempt it.

As a much needed note: this Claire Redfield being nearly as cool as Alice bull roar is not going to work.

New Gossip Video: Pop Goes The World

Beth Ditto makes me want to be a chubby chick. That, my friends, is power. They canceled their show in Atlanta, which makes me want to cry like a baby meeting Michael Jackson.  (especially now, I guess)

Watch, enjoy, realize you're not as cool.

Random Insane Hot: Duncan Mais

Duncan here is a thirty year old modely man made of sex and gingerbread. And biceps. yes, don't forget those.

Children's Books = Scary As Hell

The Huffington Post has posted a series of the most disturbing Children's Book covers this side of ...something clever. Hit the jump for more insight into the warped minds of authors writing for younger audiences here.

Thanks to Cisco for the tip (sorry it took so long!)