Noot D'Noot Teaches you Feelings

Yeah, I appreciate them. So did Jesus before he, ya know, went to Burger King and got lost so long ago.

Jesus Was A Kind Fellow

That's a dedication to a flock if I've ever seen one.

Exactly What It Will Be Like

I predicted it here first, a whole 3 days before the world ends. That's what they call.....unimpressive future detection abilities.

Word.

Even More Ways To Be Guilty! Catholic App

Are you Catholic? Do you feel you don't feel guilty enough? Would you like another way for you to be reminded what a terrible naughty person you are? Do you feel Jesus doesn't understand how undeserving you are of his love?

There's an app for that.

Blog World: Tea Party Jesus

Oh those good ol' Tea partiers. They only know of three or four things: black people are evil, Jesus is good and the government is akin to Nazi Germany. For the rest of us, here's a site combining at least two of those into fun times.

Click here to see what the Lord of Conservative America has to say.

Oklahomans Are Upset At Jesus'....Stomach?

This ten-foot tall crucifix in a Catholic church in Oklahoma seems to be causing quite the stir (I can't possibly imagine why). Many are pointing out the obvious, that Jesus looks like he is super, very excited to die for our sins...and that he has such a giant dong. The church faculty, however, is saying that the area in question is indeed just the Lord and Savior's super ripped abs.

Several people have left the church over the piece, while others seem to be completely ok with the seemingly bonerific death scene. The artist (bless her heart) apparently has not left a comment on the matter.

American Religious Map Or: Why I Need To Move

Congratulations everyone, you're a Baptist. Like, for real. All those other colors is so this mother doesn't look racist.

Jesus's Best Friend Jorge's House Found

Archeologists have discovered the remnants of a house they believe to be dated back to the time of Christ. Supposedly, they have gained great insight to the lives of the citizens then. From the find, it seems that everything was covered in dirt. and they had very small walls. We can only deduce from this that Christ was a pygmy. True story. Unless your definition of true involves fact, in which case I say, you don't know the definition of true.
Check out the CNN article here, involving some unnecessary back story in to Christianity.

She's Back: America's Best Christian

"I don't have furniture that's that new." but no seriously, I worked with a Mormon she carried bits of human heart around. True story, or it was a salad.

Repeat After Me Bitch! I Come in the Name of Jesus!

This is the true meaning of Christmas.

Why Not? Jesus Hitches A Dino Ride

Go bid on this on ebay. I want for christmas.

Billboard Placement Gone Terribly Awry

So, now we know what's behind all the woes of the world! You know who could have told you that? Satan. Buzzfeed has compiled a list of 15 inappropriate billboard pairs, Check them out here.

Jesus Loves Kitty Love?

I couldn't resist posting this. It's like the saddest day of your life mixed with a giant lion erection. Lurid Digs is an ABSOLUTELY NSFW website that I wouldn't recommend. It features tragic sad naked men in even more tragically designed living rooms. If you do decide to go there and suffer from some form of blindness or Lou Gerigh's disease, don't blame me.

Dollhouse Get's A Second Season! Jesus Loves Me!

Fox (Evil horrible funny smelling bastards in your day to day business) has given Joss Whedon's Dollhouse a 13 episode second season. This marks possibly the lowest rated series on a major broadcast network to receive a renewal. It was all because of the following:

Aaron: Hey Jesus, it'd be pretty sweet if you'd bring Dollhouse back later this year.

Jesus: That would be pretty sweet, no lies kiddo.

Aaron: Awesome, thanks man. Also, if you wouldn't mind...a couple
of extra inches...down there?

Jesus: Go watch Dollhouse. No one would ever see it anyway.

Aaron: Touche, Easter man. Thanks again.