The Apocalypse Is Nigh

Just in case God didn't hate us enough for inventing the Snuggie, now there's some electric version of the crap. I can only hope that everyone who buys one of these wears them through puddles.

Zap.

Reason 4563242 Stephanie Meyer Has To Be Stopped

See, when I was in high school these kids would have been, deservedly, beaten. Now they get news segments. I'm glad I'll be dead within this century so I won't see the inevitable Sparklepire related doom we're all headed for.

So...These People Can Vote

I believe she can bring real change to the country with her...refreshingness and her, um, her realness and I really believe that Mayor McCheese is going to be the best vice president since Quayle.

Does this not terrify you?

Can't Wait To Pee? Don't

So, A Chinese company has decided to make a carseat that you can just lift up a flap and pee in. I can see several problems with this.

1. Having a penis
2. Having on clothes
3. Asians driving

Oh I'm just kidding. We should buy them Hot Wheels to feel included.

Mackenzie Phillips Porked Her Dad. Oh Dear.

Mackenzie Phillips, famous for two reasons to me:

1. Being the daughter of John Phillips from the Mamas and the Papas
and more importantly
2. Being the mom on "So Weird" (classy TV, that)

released her memoirs today and spoke of the long term incestuous relationship the two had.

"My father was not a man with boundaries. He was full of love, and he was sick with drugs. I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father"

 Great, this totally messes up "I Saw Her Again Last Night" forever for me. 

Asian Guy Gets Bored: Builds Giant Papercraft Link

Somebody's a virgin. He's not even unbangable.

Nah, kudos buddy.

WHY? The Wearable Towel

Is there seriously a question of why our economy is ass raped right now? I mean it seems logical that if people are spending their money on this crap sooner or later we won't have any. I would never buy one...unless it came with one of the boys in it.

The Most Amazingly Pointless Thing Ever

If you've ever thought "Oi, I wonder what a website entitled Explosions and Boobs has to over" you probably need an oil change. If you're thinking "Oi, I'd like to see explosions AND boobs on a overly simplistic page that takes me to more of the same if I click it" then check it out! Here of course

Angel Knee Pillow: For Those Who Can't Aim

Tenshi no Hizamakura, which translates to "Angels Knee Pillow", is a Japanese device designed to prevent toilet mishaps for men (ie peeing on the back of the toilet, your cat, the front door). It's seriously just two pads on platforms for guys to get on their knees.

Seriously, is this a big issue? Why don't we just teach Japanese men how to urinate? I need a job, I could give a boot camp.

Snuggies: The Next Generation

Thank God for more useless objects that somehow we lived without wearing until now. I can't imagine trying to pee from there. Thankfully, I'm a bed wetter.

Look Under W For Why

The absolutely moronic bastards geniuses over in Movieland have decided that nothing at all would be more appropriate in 2009 than a remake of Fame. We are all doomed. The kind of doomed that Kal El was sent away for. That's right: you heard it here first. Krypton was actually never destroyed, they just didn't want their son growing up in a Fame-remake world. True story.