On A Scale Of 1 To 10...

I'm apparently exactly a 7.81. So I think that's like hot enough to do porn but with the moral conundrums of guilt and lovehandles to not go through with it.

Anaface supposedly looks at the geometry of your face and tells you how pretty you are based on it. Good times. Now women don't have to worry just about makeup but the fact that their left earlobe is .45 cm shy of being symmetrical. Go and give yourself a complex here.

PS. Sorry about my mugshot.

She's Back: America's Best Christian

"I don't have furniture that's that new." but no seriously, I worked with a Mormon she carried bits of human heart around. True story, or it was a salad.

Johnny Depp Named Sexiest Man Alive: General Bleh Ensues

I may be the odd man out, but I don't particularly find him that attractive. He kind of looks like he could be Clay Aiken's mom if she forgot to pluck. 

Hugh Jackman Looks Good In Pants

That's really all there is to this. So...

I Kid You Not: Fresh Balls

Apparently, sweaty balls is a crisis that men have dealt with for generations. Well no more! Thanks to Fresh Balls (I want to find the marketing genius for that one) you can put lotion? on your balls to keep them dry? seems paradoxical to me, but whatever. I mean sure they get sweaty, but so do my knee pits. Do I need to put stuff down there too?

Check out the official site here.

Fascinating and Such: Fan Death's "Reunited"

They're possibly women, they're possibly British. They're definitely interesting. Give it a listen or four.

There's an Axl Rose look-a-like (but cute), how can you refuse? You can't

Dog Goes Freaking Nuts For Returning Soldier

I mean, he has to be covered in pee droplets right? This is kind of insane. In other news, Jared is almost exactly like this when I get home. Including the pee.

Aaron's Work: A Progress Report

So if you know me at all, you've been hearing non-stop about the project that is slowly but surely working on my early grave. My text message translation guide is well under way and it's hurting. Every day it causes me pain. On week seven (today) here is a tid bit of where I'm at.

I throw myself to the wolves once more tomorrow, wish me luck! There are several more spreads, just not full of yummy goodness.

Hero: 10 Year Old With More Sense Than Most of America

>So, I always hated the entire forced pledge thing. It felt like we were being brainwashed...to be patriotic zombies. In space. Watch it and remember that this kid has more balls than 90% of us. 

So the damn thing insists on having two of itself. Fine CNN, go for the overkill.

Low-Resolution Girl Rocks

I'm actually really confused if you need me to say anything aside from that. Just to ensure that I meet my daily word typing quotas I present the following.

She is made of pixels. It's like watching a recorded britney spears video from the tv on the internet on a dial up connection on an Apple II monitor. In space.
In 1378.

Need: Jawa Lawn Ornament

I don't have a lawn, but I do have a dream. It involves a small family of these living along side black people like they aren't secretly afraid. That and a truly everlasting gobstopper. 

Dollhouse: RIP

Well, that's all dearies. Joss Whedon's best (yes, I know, let the Buffy folks complain) show has officially been canceled by Fox during its second season. Fox announced the news yesterday. The show is currently producing its 11th episode. Fox plans on running the remaining episodes back to back throughout December, giving it a full two season run. After the announcement Whedon said:

"Hmm. Apparently my news is not news.
I don’t have a lot to say. I’m extremely proud of the people I’ve worked with: my star, my staff, my cast, my crew. I feel the show is getting better pretty much every week, and I think you’ll agree in the coming months. I’m grateful that we got to put it on, and then come back and put it on again.
I’m off to pursue internet ventures/binge drinking. Possibly that relaxation thing I’ve read so much about. By the time the last episode airs, you’ll know what my next project is. But for now there’s a lot of work still to be done, and disappointment to bear.
Thank you all for your support, your patience, your excellent adverts. See you again. -j.”

 The show's 'star' Dushku also took to her twitter to post the following:

"Hear it here. Hey, that's really why I started twitter, the rumors/news IS true: Dollhouse will not cont. past these 13 eps :("

 I mean the news was obviously impending, but it's a sad day here in Aaron town. I shall watch them all fondly and think of what could have been. For those of you who haven't watched it, shame on you you monkey sniffers.

PS. Fox is now the devil. No dollhouse and an entire news network of bloated republicans. Kudos.

Mr. Bucket Was A Dirty Old Man

So let's get this straight. Nowhere in development, creative meetings, writing or recording this tune did anyone at this company think that a middle-aged sounding bucket singing "your balls pop out of my mouth" was in anyway an inappropriate sentiment?

In other news, as a child I REALLY wanted a Mr. Bucket. (unrelated of course)

Kick Ass Flute Rock Band Playing (I Didn't Feel Like Going Back and Making This A Real Sentence)

It's a video kind of day. Consider yourselves warned. Having said that, I wish I could play the flute. It sounds much nicer than my bellowing insistently at the controller thinking to myself "I AM every woman, it IS all in me"

I Can't Resist: "Bad Romance" Video

I still stand by my statement that anyone that weird may deserve to be so famous. Having said that, she looks eerily normal for part of it. Gaga has went the way of Britney, let the baby spewing head shaving commence.

Seriously. and go.