Apologies

for my extended absence. I hope to be bringing you useless news once again soon.

Another Awesome Snickers Commercial

I want to turn into Aretha Franklin, then I'd be the proud owner of that inauguration hat. Mega score to me and the purple bowed turban of high note doom.

Bradley Cooper's Face is Wrong

Here's Mr. Cooper at the I Love You, New York premiere looking like he fell asleep in a can of orange with a scarf around his face. This is reason 345,232,345 to not use a fake tan. They can't even get Will Tippin's face right. How are they going to create perfect cover on your Snooki wannabe ass?

Avatar Defeated By The Notebook 2?

Jesus has determined that Avatar is no longer the most popular movie in the world. Lilly Kane has the power to end this terrible reign of blue and...shit. Bow before depressing Nicholas Sparks movies, they are our new kings.

The Only Superbowl Post Ever

Although technically it's not superbowl Sunday anymore. But technically, you smell like cottage cheese and feet.

Enjoy.

Fallout New Vegas Teaser

Aaron needs.

All Kinds of Sad/Creepy: Man Marries Dead Girlfriend

So Zhuang Huagui of China has married his girlfriend, who was stabbed to death 8 days before their wedding was supposed to occur.

I don't have much to say, I just found it interesting/depressing/scary.

Check out more of the story here.

Ballpoint Pens Explain Sex, Finally.

It amuses me, I look at it and go "ha ha ha ha ha". That's just because I'm like, way cool. Just so you know. I was completely lost before this handy dandy diagram. Let it enlighten all of us.

Neat Interactive Wrangler Site

Wrangler has created an interactive model being thrown about...thing for their Blue Bell connection (isn't that an ice cream?).

So the entire premise is there's a somewhat attractive man in various outfits and you violently push him down and rip his shirt off with your mouse. You know, your usual Saturday night.

Check out all the modely goodness here.

Need: Boob Mousepads

What says "hey, I'm a respectable guy with a lot to offer the world?"

If you said: A career
                   A home (not your parent's)
                  A sex life

you'd be wrong. The appropriate answer is booby mousepads.

I think I'd get one if it were like a Hugh Jackman's package mousepad. Yeah.

Meanwhile in the Fortress of Solitude

I somehow missed this Gaga doozy after the grammys made me sad. I adore her. It's official. I am like every other homosexual and twelve year old girl in the world, she pleases me. It seems, however, that the poor guy who had to sit behind her is less enthralled.

14 Most Depressing Films Ever

Total Film has compiled a list of the 14 most depressing movies ever. It's pretty thorough and you shouldn't click it if you're sad. I just want a little emo song to start when you visit the page. Maybe Robert Pattison pouting in the right hand corner to give it some extra darkness.

Shockingly missing from this list? Spice World, when you find out Trevor left Nikola. Pure tear-jerking right there. A donut who knows who either of those characters are.

Check out their full list here.

Yet Another Florence Video

I'm starting to feel like Lungs is her Shania Twain's "Come on Over" album (you know, where like literally every song ends up being a single). Alas, Miss Machine has determined she wants to be a mix between Lady Gaga and a bird. There's also a little ABBA look going on in there. Enjoy.

UPDATE: Apparently, they've decided that the worst way to promote a music video is to...show it? So it's been taken down.

OK...Taylor Swift Wins Album of the Year

Taylor Swift (seen here dropping it) has won the Grammy for Album of the Year. That's right. Just ponder that for a while. I mean I know Kanye was mean and everything, but if we gave every little girl someone was rude to a Grammy then I'd have like 4.