Sacrelege. Crappy "Death At A Funeral" Remake

I refuse to make this my normal size as a form of protest. I could have just not blogged about it and kept it from coming to your attention at all, but you are French.

So do you remember WAYYYY back in 2007, when Frank Oz (Freaking Yoda for Chrissake) made a super funny British comedy called "Death at a Funeral"? Oh, you don't?

Do you remember when Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence or Tracey Morgan was funny?
Oh, you don't?

I rest my case.

This Is My Life, In Pastels

Read carefully, at least 50% of this is stuff I care about, and by care about I mean if you insult it you will end up dead. Not by my hand, but dead none the less.

I guarantee in 89 years, you'll be dead. It'll be because you questioned this awesomeness on Dec. ___ 2009. Fill in the blank and send by direct mail for a more personalized death guarantee. 

Invisible Shoes Are Invisible-ish (Kind Of)

São Paulo stationed shoe designer Andreia Chaves has introduced her? (it could be a man, I don't really know...or a hot tranny mess, let's go with that one) anyway, their (oooh there we go) new "invisible" shoe for the 2010 collection. It's rather invisible, unless of course you see them, which you will.

Side note to our women readers: Wear panties with mirrored shoes. I had a very embarrassing Wednesday night one time.

Jake Gyllenhaal Is Quite Fit

That's really it. Merry Christmas.

Give Tru Blood This Year

HBO's site is offering bottles of Tru Blood for sale. Aaron wants. I want to be like Bill Compton, sans the terrible makeup, and that accent.

The human version is less the blood, more of the orange flavor. They need to make a Jason Stackhouse flavor. That would sell. To me.

Mass Effect 2 Has One Of The Best Voice Casts Ever

It's made of sex. and voices. Mostly sex though.

in other news, the fucking video isn't working. Just know that cool people are in it. 

It's Claire!

ABC has released the first LOST Season 6 promo pics. Call me crazy, but it seems that on their final season they would go for more than an "upset kid at a school photo session" look. I just keep imagining LifeTouch down in the bottom right of these photos. Check out the rest here.

Fatality! Celebrity Kung Fu

Atom has posted this, the mother of all fighting games involving Octomom. Pick your fighter, pick your douchebag opponent, and fail as the terrible control scheme sends you to a certain death at the hands of Glen Beck.

Check it out here.

Time's 10 Best Magazine Covers of 2009

Time Magazine, famous for such things as saying Time on the cover, has published their list of the Top Ten _______ of the year. I focused on the magazine covers, because it was the only one I saw with a blow-up doll involved. I don't quite get blow up dolls, it seems like it would be doing soup...there's nothing really to it. I digress.

Check out their full list here, although it rather ridiculously starts with number one. They don't understand countdowns at Time. just time.

Blog World: Sketchy Santas

I'm just as confused as you are as to why this child isn't recoiling in a terror that would chill a grown man. In fact she seems quite happy. I believe, after thorough research of course, that she is a lizard alien and she is in need of the Earth's water supply.

However, that important fact is not the point of this post. What is the point, is that there is an entire website full of scary-ass Santas from around the world. Go rejoice in this, the creepiest of seasons. Click here, no here.

...Even If It's Bold-Italic

Ok, something is seriously wrong when leading jokes make you laugh. Of if you know what leading is. Note to self: finish puberty so you can be a graphic design geek with a beard. Other note to self: find out what puberty is.

Thanks to Cisco for delivering the funny in email form.

Harry Potter Sneak Peak

Dh Preview One - Watch more funny videos here

Here's a clip of behind the scenes...stuff and a teaser trailer for the seventh Potter film. It looks somewhat interesting in that "Harry Potter does sex and the city with a goblin or two" kind of way. Let's just hope it's better than HBP was. /complaint.

43rd Best Idea of All Time

Designer Damjan Stanković has created a traffic light that counts down just how long your never ending frustration has until it...ends. There is not a single good reason this isn't everywhere already. Except for of course that we live in a country where more than 25% believe Sarah Palin is qualified to be president. I wish the aliens would come already. 

We Are Officially in Music Hell: Grammys '10

The Black Eyed Peas (yes, the group in the photo above)have been nominated for both Record of the Year and Album of the Year. These things are getting even less prestigious than Nobels apparently. For a full list of the travesties, er...nominations, click here.

Worst Album Covers of the Year

So I found this on livejournal user princess_peapod's page. It's a rather through but obviously incomplete collection of the year's worst graphic design in the album cover world. Check out the full list of all the sad times here.