One Hour of Boredom Equals Nazi Strippers...from Mars.

I really should find stuff to do.

Be kind, it needs a lot of tweaking, but it pleased me. Nay, it tickled my innards.

Dumbest Quotes of the Decade

The Huffington Post has collected several of the worst (and best) of our collective stupidity as a culture. They were quite merciful to Bush, seeing as how he still cries in his sleep. It's ok Bushy wushy, eat your pineapple.

Actually, pineapple is a sin. It's the gay of fruits. It makes fruits even gayer.

Check out the whole list here.

Westboro Finds Something Else God Hates

Fred Phelps and his satanic cult of a family over at Westboro Baptist have found yet another thing that God doesn't care for. Of course it's mostly related to the gays, but it's slightly different, in that it has a vagina.

In other news, their signs are getting better. Good for them. And the evil Christian of doom looks fierce.

Sorry for being rather late on delivering this news, you know me. lazy.

Member of Parliament Calls Gays An "Abomination", Goes Crazy

Sixty year old Iris Robinson, an MP from Northern Ireland has announced she's stepping down from her political position due to "mental illness". Last year, she caused quite a stir by calling all gays an "abomination". This year, she shall start drooling in her oatmeal.

In the same interview as the abomination remark, she called homosexuality a mental illness and stated that it can be "cured"...oh wait! She just loves the muff!

Blog World: Pale Is The New Tan

So there is a genius who decided to gather all of the orange people of the world and put them on display, so us, the pasties can bask in their radioactive glory. And upon gazing at the angelic face before, I know that I am an inferior being until I put on some plastic underwear and let someone at me with a paint gun. Thank you Guido Jesus.

Check out the site here.

I Would Just Feel Irresponsible Not Posting This

Yeah.

No, you missed the point, scroll back up.

Yeah.

So this is Adam Coussins, apparently. I shall call him Hotness McHottiepants of Hottville. (or Hotness McHottiepants of Hottville for short)

So there are more here. This is NSFW unless your boss likes you looking at insanely sexy man booty.

Waste A Lot of Your Life Learning Why The Phantom Menace Sucked

So here is part one of SEVEN quite long videos in which a mentally challenged, er, monotone man explains why The Phantom Menace was terrible. It's rather funny if you are slightly to moderately (completely) dorky.

Sorry for my nerdfest as far as posts go, my inner Youngling is angry at me.

HP Are Racist Nazis (Well Maybe Not Nazis, But Close)

My eyes always follow black people. They may steal things. No no, just kidding. ::wink wink:: No seriously, I trust all black people. Except the shifty ones. I mean.....I do work for HP.

Editor's note: AarontheBond does not condone racism of any kind. He uses a Mac.

Lord of the Rings Facebook Status Updates

So college humor has a few LOTR facebook statuses up. Rather amusing, unless you like ham. Then they're now 3/4ths as amusing. True.

Check them out here.

and for some reason there are more....here. although that's not the source. Frakked up indeed messers.

Alia Shawkat Replicates The Most Important Moment In Movie History

Teen Witch is still, hands down, the best motion picture of the 20th century. Or of 198----whatever it was. Or of that week. I definitely think Teen Witch is the best movie of that week.

New Sia Video: You've Changed

I love her. I also love videogames and awkward looking people. This is a win/win/win situation. No doubt about it friends.

America Has Poor Taste Volume 4

The bad news? James Cameron's latest "technological breakthrough" that happens to be  around two hours too long for its own good is the number one movie in America.

The good news? It only  made $73 million. That's less money than Kate Winslet's garters from Titanic.

In other news altogether, I'm declaring a war on Papyrus and any font that looks remotely like it. Allah will destroy you all.

UPDATE: So it has a $232 million worldwide gross, the biggest global opening for a non-sequel in the history of cinema.

Well shit.

Jesus's Best Friend Jorge's House Found

Archeologists have discovered the remnants of a house they believe to be dated back to the time of Christ. Supposedly, they have gained great insight to the lives of the citizens then. From the find, it seems that everything was covered in dirt. and they had very small walls. We can only deduce from this that Christ was a pygmy. True story. Unless your definition of true involves fact, in which case I say, you don't know the definition of true.
Check out the CNN article here, involving some unnecessary back story in to Christianity.

Tim Burton Decided Not To Read Alice In Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland Trailer #2 in HD

Trailer Park | MySpace Video

And we get this. Pretty? Yes. Alice in Wonderland? Eh, in the same way Zoolander was based on A Tale of Two Cities.

Sacrelege. Crappy "Death At A Funeral" Remake

I refuse to make this my normal size as a form of protest. I could have just not blogged about it and kept it from coming to your attention at all, but you are French.

So do you remember WAYYYY back in 2007, when Frank Oz (Freaking Yoda for Chrissake) made a super funny British comedy called "Death at a Funeral"? Oh, you don't?

Do you remember when Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence or Tracey Morgan was funny?
Oh, you don't?

I rest my case.

This Is My Life, In Pastels

Read carefully, at least 50% of this is stuff I care about, and by care about I mean if you insult it you will end up dead. Not by my hand, but dead none the less.

I guarantee in 89 years, you'll be dead. It'll be because you questioned this awesomeness on Dec. ___ 2009. Fill in the blank and send by direct mail for a more personalized death guarantee. 

Invisible Shoes Are Invisible-ish (Kind Of)

São Paulo stationed shoe designer Andreia Chaves has introduced her? (it could be a man, I don't really know...or a hot tranny mess, let's go with that one) anyway, their (oooh there we go) new "invisible" shoe for the 2010 collection. It's rather invisible, unless of course you see them, which you will.

Side note to our women readers: Wear panties with mirrored shoes. I had a very embarrassing Wednesday night one time.

Jake Gyllenhaal Is Quite Fit

That's really it. Merry Christmas.

Give Tru Blood This Year

HBO's site is offering bottles of Tru Blood for sale. Aaron wants. I want to be like Bill Compton, sans the terrible makeup, and that accent.

The human version is less the blood, more of the orange flavor. They need to make a Jason Stackhouse flavor. That would sell. To me.

Mass Effect 2 Has One Of The Best Voice Casts Ever

It's made of sex. and voices. Mostly sex though.

in other news, the fucking video isn't working. Just know that cool people are in it. 

It's Claire!

ABC has released the first LOST Season 6 promo pics. Call me crazy, but it seems that on their final season they would go for more than an "upset kid at a school photo session" look. I just keep imagining LifeTouch down in the bottom right of these photos. Check out the rest here.

Fatality! Celebrity Kung Fu

Atom has posted this, the mother of all fighting games involving Octomom. Pick your fighter, pick your douchebag opponent, and fail as the terrible control scheme sends you to a certain death at the hands of Glen Beck.

Check it out here.

Time's 10 Best Magazine Covers of 2009

Time Magazine, famous for such things as saying Time on the cover, has published their list of the Top Ten _______ of the year. I focused on the magazine covers, because it was the only one I saw with a blow-up doll involved. I don't quite get blow up dolls, it seems like it would be doing soup...there's nothing really to it. I digress.

Check out their full list here, although it rather ridiculously starts with number one. They don't understand countdowns at Time. just time.

Blog World: Sketchy Santas

I'm just as confused as you are as to why this child isn't recoiling in a terror that would chill a grown man. In fact she seems quite happy. I believe, after thorough research of course, that she is a lizard alien and she is in need of the Earth's water supply.

However, that important fact is not the point of this post. What is the point, is that there is an entire website full of scary-ass Santas from around the world. Go rejoice in this, the creepiest of seasons. Click here, no here.

...Even If It's Bold-Italic

Ok, something is seriously wrong when leading jokes make you laugh. Of if you know what leading is. Note to self: finish puberty so you can be a graphic design geek with a beard. Other note to self: find out what puberty is.

Thanks to Cisco for delivering the funny in email form.

Harry Potter Sneak Peak

Dh Preview One - Watch more funny videos here

Here's a clip of behind the scenes...stuff and a teaser trailer for the seventh Potter film. It looks somewhat interesting in that "Harry Potter does sex and the city with a goblin or two" kind of way. Let's just hope it's better than HBP was. /complaint.

43rd Best Idea of All Time

Designer Damjan Stanković has created a traffic light that counts down just how long your never ending frustration has until it...ends. There is not a single good reason this isn't everywhere already. Except for of course that we live in a country where more than 25% believe Sarah Palin is qualified to be president. I wish the aliens would come already. 

We Are Officially in Music Hell: Grammys '10

The Black Eyed Peas (yes, the group in the photo above)have been nominated for both Record of the Year and Album of the Year. These things are getting even less prestigious than Nobels apparently. For a full list of the travesties, er...nominations, click here.

Worst Album Covers of the Year

So I found this on livejournal user princess_peapod's page. It's a rather through but obviously incomplete collection of the year's worst graphic design in the album cover world. Check out the full list of all the sad times here.