Run For Your Lives: Steampunk-y Bugs

:: shakes off the heeby jeebies::

Artist/bringer of the end of the world Mike Libby has been creating these terrifying foreshadows of the end times masterpieces using bug corpses and old watch parts. He is taking part in the Smithsonian Craft Show this month so you can go visit his terrifying pieces in person. Hit his official site here.

Holy Ink Blot

Above picture? Not a photograph. It was done all in ballpoint pen. Yes, those things we write with on a daily basis to complete our "jobs" and edits in our hardcore porn novels. Artist Juan Francisco Casas is the creator of this and other amazing pieces all from ballpoint pens. If you can read spanish or just to browse, check out his site here. As an aside, he's also cute.

Denny's Fights The Machines

I found this amusing. I also find it amusing when you pick your nose and that like, crazy long string of snot comes out with it. Just saying, for you know, comparison sake.

LOST's Crew Gets A Cake

For tonight's 100th episode, the cast and crew of LOST received this cake from Charm City Cakes. I think this is pertinent, highly-important news. I also think that, had I done the cake, I would have added a nice "Make your show suck less" script into the sand. I think that would have been...necessary.

Oh, What A Dong-like Purse We Weave

Just look at it. Then go Ohhh. Ew.

Finally! I Can Be One Step Closer To Mr. Tumnus

Do you think he'll find me pretty now? Do you!? Perhaps if I wear that dashing skirt from the second half of the video. Surely he couldn't resist me.

America Has Poor Taste Volume 2

The number one movie this weekend? (Surely the poster won't be a hint) It was Obsessed, a nice ghetto-ese thriller about Ali Larter and Beyonce fighting with spaceships or something. You'll have to forgive me, I may not be up to snuff on this.

The number two movie? "17 Again", starring a small dwarf with magical pixie powers Zac Efron and that sometimes eerily skinny-sometimes fat guy from Friends.

Pat yourselves on the back USA, you've given at least 2 people more reason to move to, well...anywhere

Peaches Wants You To Talk To Her, Dammit.

Here's the video for Peaches' first single from her upcoming album "I Feel Cream". It seems rather mainstream for her, although I could see it growing on me. Like bisexual kudzu.

Bea Arthur Passes Away At 86

Golden Girls and Maude actress Bea Arthur died today at her home of cancer. She passed peacefully with her family at her bedside. How sad! Every Golden Girls personality quiz I ever took told me I was Dorothy. Rest in peace Bea.

Holy Dolly Parton: This Is Unnecessary

Apparently, Bearforce 1 is (was?) the world's first (and pray only) "bear band". If you can watch all of this, you are stronger than I. Although, one of them? Totally doable. I'm a sad man.

New Blog: Why The F*ck Do You Have A Kid?

Ah, I love it when people come up with good specific, albeit random things to blog about. Today's submission? "Why the fuck do you have a kid?" of course. Showing that America is the place to be if you're 12, have extra $20s laying around and have nothing better to do than accidentally procreate. That's what the founding fathers were all about. Look how happy Franklin is there on that baby.

Check it out here

Tee Hee My Romulan Said A Bad Word

I mean who doesn't enjoy loading pictures of themselves to be transformed into aliens, only to have said aliens speak of the vastness of their genitalia? No one I know. Check out the horrid little site over here .
And my classy creation here

Giant Gay Repellant Umbrella

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

2 or 3 of my favorite actors/comedians took part in this Funny or Die skit mocking the National Marriage...of Testtube babies? Um, some conservative groups over the top attack on us homosexuals trying to have stable relationships. Oooh and George Takei is there....but so is Lance Bass. It's still funny.

Hooray For Homo-Oven-Erotic Commercials

At least Quizno's has their (creepy) shit together. I want a sub now. A big hot sub....

Britain Says We Must Stop The Fatties

Britain's Sun Paper (classy source, I know) has released an article saying that scientists have discovered that the obese are a giant cause of global warming. So I say, logically, that Lane Bryant is run by Satan. I feel that that's a justifiable leap. Also, I provide a fool-proof solution: Urban Safari trips. Poaching is welcomed. Yes, yes. Read the article here.

As an aside, the fact that the word "Fatties" is in their headline is just too funny.

Green Porno Is Back!

Green Porno's second season is up and running over on Sundance. For those unfamiliar, it's Isabella Rossellini dressed up in various elementary-school level costumes of plants and animals humping away at paper mache props. In other words: erection time.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

Check out all the shorts here

Me Likey: French Kicks "Abandon"

I haven't determined whether I love the song or not, however, I enjoy the video. Nothing says "I want one of those" like an absent-minded (or possibly thoroughly distracted) hula hoopist.

Ze Crazy Germans

I don't think I can add much to that. Except 2. Which equals about 5.

Neat: The World of 100

Toby Ng is a designer based in Hong Kong who put together a series of posters full of statistics that represent the worlds population if they were a village of 100. Some are rather entertaining and all are quite nicely put together. Check them out here.

I'm not going to lie...using a banana to tell that most of the world is straight...amusing.

Angus, Thongs And...Oh My

So "Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging" was one of my favorite books years ago. It was for 12 year old girls and I was a 16 year old guy, but....yes. Anyway, They made a movie version and it seems that they've added a very pretty handyman (played by Shirtless McVeryhot Steve Jones).

I agree with such editorial decisions.

I Want To Park My Car Here

Yet another reason to move to Australia. Designer Axel Peemoeller designed this brilliant direction system at the Eureka Tower Carpark in Melbourne. I'm a jealous man. A jealous man without a sexy accent.

Hit here for more pics of the rest of the parking deck.

It's Political Satire Time!

Here we are pointing out the obvious problems with the 2M4M (2 million for marriage, which is a conservative group trying to gather 2 million people to protest same sex marriage) campaign name, slogan, ideas, concepts and principals.

You would imagine that these people would actually look at the internet every now and then.

Most Awesome Sink Ever Goes To:

I want one. Or seven. I also want a shrinking device so I could put every water park in the country to shame. I could also be very very small. Y'know, cause I had a shrinking machine.

Modern industrial design gets me hot and bothered.

Unholy Hell! Terrible Tattoos

This may be old news, I know not. There's a brilliantly disturbing website LOLTATZ which features at least 300 reasons why people should be shot in the head. Example #126 is above. I mean if you're going to have a Swayze tattoo, you need it to be Miss. Vida Bohem. Obviously. Dumb turds.

Hit the site here (some images NSFW)

New Favorite Person Ever: Susan Boyle

Susan Boyle is a 47 year old charity worker from Scotland who appeared on "Britain's Got Talent" this past week and made quite the impression.

She wanders on the stage met with a ridiculous amount of skepticism but then belts out this fricking Disney princess amazing performance from Les Mis. You MUST watch this video.

There's always a special place in my heart for people overcoming all these jackasses of the world who can't look beyond your physical appearance. I hate them.

Them and sand in your swim trunks....my balls just don't approve.

Watch the amazing vid HERE (of the singing, not my balls)

If David Lynch Directed 'A Goofy Movie'

Someone at Disney needs to get those reels over to Lynch's office pronto. I must see this obviously dark, very important, surreal film exploring the depths of the dog/human soul. With the arch nemesis Principal Mazur.

In Other Female Anatomy News: Breast Bombs

That has to be the most awesome movie I've seen ever in the history of everness. This is exactly why Asians are good at math. Math and being skinny. Math and being skinny with funny mustaches.

Oh My: Mowing The Lawn

This made me shudder. I seriously have goose bumps. Vajayjays make me squirmish. I have always avoided them. I was even a C-section baby.

Dollhouse: She Made A Mistake And She's Sad

Yet another fantastic Dollhouse this week. I can't think of any reason why this is doing so poorly in the ratings. It has made Lost look like a retarded cousin to me this year. "A Spy in the House of Love" was even more along the Alias lines that I thought the show was already following. From the misleading opening scene to the breaking into NSA offices and the "12 hours earlier" segments, it screamed Sydney Bristow. It made me smile.

On to the important things.
In the beginning we see Sierra and Echo walking around and a big struggle in Topher's office followed by flashing and blood on the windows.

12 Hours earlier

Hey you got NSA tech in my peanut butter
Topher finds a chip inside the chair that doesn't belong to the Dollhouse. He tells Boyd and then they inform Dominic and then the panic ensues. He grabs Sierra and takes her up to be imprinted as a hunter. Echo (in her blank state) has evolved even more and insists that Topher can make her be able to help. She is then imprinted to be a Sherlock Holmes infused interogator.

Imprint: November
We see the episode play out through the eyes of the four different actives. November is re-imprinted with Mellie's mind and sent back to Ballard. When she gets there he brings her inside and is explaining how much more he knows about the Dollhouse to her. She then goes blank and delivers a message from the saboteurs. Ballard is finding out that the woman he has developed feelings for has only been in his life to keep tabs on his activity relating to the Dollhouse. She tells him that Mellie is a sleeper agent and has no knowledge of the fact she's an active and he can never say anything to her. He must never discuss the Dollhouse investigation with her either. She then returns to the Mellie state.

It was another fantastic scene with Miracle Laurie having another drop-jawed revelation moment. Gah, I love it.


Imprint: Sierra
Here was the uber-sleek Alias stuff. Sierra is imprinted and sent to the NSA headquarters to break into their files and find the identity of the mole. She sits beside the person she's taking the identity of dressed exactly alike and asks for a pen. The lady notices her and her eyes widen then Sierra injects her with a tranquilizer and says "Nevermind, I've found one". I loove it ha.

Then she gains acccess to the vaults, steals the plastic sheet, has a shoot out and runs for a roof extraction. All in stilletos. My new hero.


Imprint: Victor
Victor is being sent for another Ms. Lonely Hearts mission (you remember her being mentioned right?) First of all, is it just me or does he get hotter every episode? I mean....drool.

So, I called this before it happened, but he heads off for his engagement and who does Ms. Lonely Hearts turn out to be? None other than our very own Adelle DeWitt. It was a fantastic scene (again) wich gave us some rather intriguing insight to her character. And Victor was half naked again so win win. The only problem? The horribly fake ocean behind them in the scene. It never even moved.

So Victor and Adelle have their fantasy date with fencing, sex and stressful conversations. Then Adelle realizes that having this engagement isn't worth the risk.


Imprint: Echo
Echo begins interrogating the employees of the Dollhouse in Adelle's office. When Dominic tells her that Sierra was coming back with the identity of the mole she seems perturbed by the news. He then shoves Ivy in and accuses her. Echo asks how long he is planning on keeping this up.

It turns out that Dominic is the NSA spy (well of course he is) and they have yet another awesome Dollhouse fight there in DeWitts office. In the end, Echo prevails and DeWitt is brought back to deal with the situation.

We finally find out what happens to people when they go to the attic. During their conversation Dominic tells DeWitt that he wasn't there to bring down the Dollhouse but to prevent it being brought down from the inside. He asked what would happen if Rossum Corp. couldn't hold onto the Dollhouse. She then tells him that he's off to the attic once Echo has thoroughly interrogated him.

During this interrogation, Dominic says that Echo will end up destroying the Dollhouse and that they will never see it coming. Then Dominic is taken to Topher's office and put in the chair with a large amount of struggle. (I'm not sure why they didn't sedate him). They do a complete wipe of him and store his memories/mind on a harddrive. Then his body is put up. Creepy. In the process Adelle was shot ("just a graze!") and had to be treated by Saunders.

Topher then tells her of the fact that Echo is still evolving and needs to know if he's to re-wipe her. DeWitt tells him no and that Echo saved the entire Dollhouse. She may prove to be useful to them in ways they didn't know. Boyd is then promoted to head of security and Echo receives a new handler. She is still connecting to Boyd during the process.

The Big Questions
1.Why does the NSA care if the Dollhouse succeeds?
2. Will Boyd risk their operation out of his ongoing concern for Echo?
3. Will Ballard be able to keep his research from Mellie?
4. What is the Dollhouse's purpose? (we've heard this twice now)

Guys, this show is dying in the ratings. There are only three episodes left and how they fare will probably be a huge determining factor in whether we get a surely amazing season two. Watch it, just turn your TVs on to Fox even if you don't pay attention. It still counts.

Snuggies: The Next Generation

Thank God for more useless objects that somehow we lived without wearing until now. I can't imagine trying to pee from there. Thankfully, I'm a bed wetter.

Fresh From Lesbianism 101

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Perhaps she should think of a Parent Trap sequel. No one else is going to hire her. Maybe Subway, Lindsey Lohan: Sandwich Artist.

Ah, self-deprecation always makes people more appealing to me. Sad.

New Bioshock 2 Gameplay Trailer

Gametrailers.com posted a new, exclusive gameplay trailer for my sure to be new favorite game ever: Bioshock 2. I'm such a dork. Anime chicks won't even hang out with me. I hope they choke on their Bento boxes.

Check the trailer here

I Want One!: Ryan Reynolds

There isn't much of a story with this...just a pretty picture. I think that Scarlett Johannson and I should switch places. That could be a new "Freaky Friday" remake. Plotline now:

A slightly effeminate blogger from Atlanta GA and megastar ScarJo freakishly transformed into one another when one wishes on a star and the other has a loose eyelash. Aaron gets to have sex with Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett gets her wisdom teeth out. The fun never ends! (seriously, they never managed to switch places again)

LOST: Dead Is Dead(ish...Kind Of....)

Ok, I know, I know. This is what you would call "late" but bear with me. Let's talk about the latest, greatest, still disappointing episode of Lost.

I think I'm going to do more of a "I had a problem with" kind of review than the usual recap. First and foremost:

1. The timeline of the island has now officially been raped up the ass
Let me explain to you why: In the eighties we see Ben and Ethan off on a "Kill that crazy French woman mission" (more on my problems with this later) and then they return to the Others' pitch a tent party. So, we are to believe that Ben and Ethan can just wander off for a few days. Free from the prying eyes of Dharmaville (who we have seen just how bloodthirsty they can be when they were dealing with Sayid).

We have also been shown in this episode that Widmore was exiled from the island post the purge of the Dharma-ites. He, however, has been complaining that he's been searching for the island for more than twenty years. The purge=1992. Most of the storyline=2004-2007. No wonder he was exiled. He can't count.

2. Rousseau was a flippin' pansy
How terribly weak was this scene? Ben rolls up into her little shelter, grabs Alex and all Danielle does is "no, no, not my baby" in a convenient bi-lingual begging. There's also another point of problems here: SHE HAS MET BEN. Surely, the most traumatic experience of her life would have a lasting impression on her memory. 20 years later, when she catches Ben in a net, instead of beating the shit out of him and finding her daughter then and there, she just says "he's one of them" and turns him over. Furthermore, in season one (you know, back when the plot was airtight) she tells Sayid that she's never seen one of them. I know she's crazy, but this is just stupid.

3. The smoke monster prefers you to flush
Last season, when you find out that Ben can summon old smokey, I was thinking it had to be this amazing awesome process. He reaches into a muddy ground toilet. That's it.

4. The origins are (more or less) revealed
Speaking of smokey, we got to see where he comes from. The answer: the Egyptians. Apparently Anubis was a fan/follower. I can't lie though, the scene was rather thoroughly engrossing. It could be interesting to see what goes on with the actual purpose of the monster. We have seen it as a judge/executioner. I wonder if there will be more to it. I've heard the theory that their may be multiple monsters. The one who enveloped Ben did seem a little friendly compared to our usual tree-ripping variety.

5. There were some good things.
For example: the new, confident John Locke is rather kickass. I also really liked Alex being back and all wonder woman-y slamming Ben around like a bitch. The most interesting thing, which I can't figure out why, was Ilana. Her ending up being the resident badass of the island instead of Cesar was very good to me. Then she goes on her mysterious "what lies in the shadow of the statue" tirade. I find her to be fascinating. We also got to see Desmond. It had been six episodes since we last laid eyes on our Irishman's Scottish man's (Sorry about that Emily) face.

The Big Questions
1. Will Lost fix its new gaping storyline contradictions anytime soon?
2. Is there a point to this entire 1977 mess?
3. What DOES lie in the shadow of the statue?
4. Will Charles ever learn to add?

Adidas: Best Advertising Ever

Adidas (my new favorite sporting goods company) has started this inexplicably homo-erotic campaign of jersey-switching athletes. You pick two and watch the half-nakedness ensue. It's brilliant. Jesus has given us two gifts for Easter now. Bravo Jeezy.

You can even watch it in slow-mo. These bastards are brilliant

Hit it
Jersey Swap

Buffy Is The Preggers

Sarah Michelle Gellar announced that her and hubby Freddy Prinze Jr. (apparently he was famous back in....yes) are expecting their first child. Maybe Sarah will insist her doctor refers to her epidural as getting staked. Or not. Perhaps there will be marshmallows.

New St. Vincent!

St. Vincent is working away on a new album called "Actor". It seems to be coming out a lot sooner than I realized. Here, for your auditory delight is a song entitled "Save Me From What I Want" that the Greco-Romans would have called "catchy". Hit it up. She's also going to be in Athens in June. Someone should go with me. That would ensure that Jesus picks you for dodgeball, and by dodgeball...I mean heaven.

Save Me From What I Want

WALL-E Case Mod: Something Akin To Neat

This kick-ass-y computer case mod comes to us from Russia. (insert silly Russian joke here) It took the guy over 18 hours to put together. The site (check it out here) seems to show that he went through some hardcore metal working to get this right. More power to him. I would have bled between steps 3 and 4. Possibly 8-19 as well. Just a thought.

How Disturbingly Realistic!: Joker Figure

There's something ultimately creepy about having this foot tall, ultra-realistic figurine of the joker hanging around your room. Sure, it could be the fact that it's the joker. He was creepy. Or it could be more like you look like some evil voodoo practitioner who shrank Heath Ledger's already embalmed body. One of the two.

Check out a site where you can buy this 12" of creepy (when it's in stock)
Hot Toys

New No Doubt!

Sorry for my absence yesterday guys. I have less teeth than before! hooray!

Anyway, back to the blogging! No Doubt have released a new track called "Stand and Deliver". It's a cover of Adam and the Ants new wave hit back from 1981. It's catchy, it's good, it's nutritious.

Stand and Deliver

Japanese People Confuse Me: Penis Festival

Thousands of people descended on the streets of Kawasaki to celebrate the Steel Phallus Festival. That's right, they have a day devoted to the dong. Tons of giggling old women and flamboyant homosexuals parade around eating penis shaped candy. I mean, I do this every Saturday around 7. No one has ever had a parade for me.

Note: Guy in background of picture will probably have very dark photos.

Dollhouse: Think Of Them As Pets

Sorry it has taken me so long to get around to writing this review up. This was another great episode (Lost, are you taking notes?). Let's jump right in shall we?

Let's Have A Pow-wow
The episode starts off with all the head honchos of our Dollhouse gathered for a meeting to discuss the actives. They are going to have all the handlers on watch for any "abnormal" behavior. The handlers are instructed to report any infraction to DeWitt immediately so the active can be handled.

5 Star Floor Coffins
Echo, Sierra, November, Victor and "Mike" all wake up in the middle of the night, with their personalities in tact. There's much talk about what is going on (millionaire perverts, aliens, lab research, the like...) The actives decide to try to assimilate themselves into the non-effected people in the dollhouse. This, of course, doesn't pan out fantastically. "Mike" is captured and sent off for a treatment. The remaining four end up escaping to the garage and are about to leave for good. Echo then realizes that she can't leave the others behind and insists that she goes back inside.

Here is where we find out that the entire escape plan is all a ruse by DeWitt to test the actives and her personnel.

A Little Closure
November, Victor and Sierra are driving away and November mentions that she has a daughter and she knows where to find her. They stop and she exits the car. Sierra and Victor head to find the man that put Sierra in the dollhouse. She remembers now that her name is Priya and the man who put her away is Noland.

November wanders into a graveyard and rests at her daughters gravesite. She collapses into tears. Sierra and Victor confront Noland and punch him (thankfully, 'cause he was a douche).
While they are running from his security, our two actives embrace and kiss.

When Barbies Get Upset
During this time, Caroline goes on a rampage through the dollhouse. She has a rather kick-ass fight with a handler. (am I the only one that went uuughhh when she whacked the hell out of her with that fire extinguisher?) Then she grabs a gun and heads up to Topher's office. Their confrontation was rather informative as we find out that Caroline doesn't have her memories but she still can access one about the mountains (that wasn't the first time we've seen that shot btw).

DeWitt enters the room and tells Caroline that she would not give her memories back. She says that she has been easing Caroline's pain at her request. Caroline shoots the chair and a computer in the room. She takes the gun and tells DeWitt that everyone has to leave the dollhouse and all the actives need to be set free. When they get outside, Caroline collapses and security returns all the actives back inside.

They then cut to November and the other actives and see that they have all fallen asleep.
Back to the meeting at the beginning of the show. We see that the doctor has recommended that the four actives be given a chance to go on a self-guided journey to "close the gap" that some form of longing has created and is causing their programming to glitch. Sierra needed to reclaim her freedom, November needed to deal with the loss of her daughter, Victor needed to 'get the girl' and Echo needed to free them. When the actives found closure, a sedative was released in their systems.


What's A Boy To Do?
During this episode, Ballard is having dreams of sleeping with Echo, Mellie finding them and Echo becoming a corpse. Creepy. He also tears his house apart and finds the dollhouse bug. He takes it to an analyst who tells him it's an amazing piece of technology and that "however big you think you are, they're bigger".

During Caroline's rampage through the dollhouse, when the cameras went down, she found Ballard's file. She calls him and tells him the dollhouse is closer than he thinks and that she needs his help.

The Big Questions
1. How exactly did Noland get Priya into the dollhouse?
2. Do they actually let the actives go at the end of their contracts?
3. What is important about the mountains?
4. Will Ballard get into the dollhouse?
5. What happened to Katie?
6. Will we find out exactly how Caroline got there?

In other news, it's not looking good for the future of Dollhouse. The ratings haven't improved any over the course of the season. It's looking dim. Just prepare for the worst sadly. GO WATCH THE SHOW!

America Has Poor Taste

"Fast and Furious", the 1,456,154th sequel to "The Fast and the Furious" opened this weekend with a $72.5 million weekend. That makes it the most successful debut in April ever. Ever. I know that none of us have any money right now, but has it really come to giving it all to Vin Diesel to take our minds off of our lives? These are sad times. Kitten in a tree while your grandmother is eating the next door neighbor kind of sad.

I Can Cope With This: Jason Statham Goes Swimming

The hottest best actor in useless action movies decided to go swimming. I decided to show you a picture of him swimming. The world is an amazing place full of candy and dreams.

Mr. Wolf Gets A Little S&M

Here's the odd/interesting/frightening/fascinating video for Patrick Wolf's new single "Vulture". Check earlier posts for the mp3. I dunno, a little Patrick ass is too much for my taste. This, however is hands down is most tolerable video. Go check out the atrocity that is "Accident/Emergency". I looooove this song. No doubt.

Look Under W For Why

The absolutely moronic bastards geniuses over in Movieland have decided that nothing at all would be more appropriate in 2009 than a remake of Fame. We are all doomed. The kind of doomed that Kal El was sent away for. That's right: you heard it here first. Krypton was actually never destroyed, they just didn't want their son growing up in a Fame-remake world. True story.

Today In Stupid Movie News: Bruno

Here's the red band trailer (NSFW) for Sacha Baron Cohen's newest movie Bruno. Just like Borat but much gayer and more scripted. It should be good for a laugh for 3-4 minutes. Then, straight to the walmart 2 for $5 section. Such is life.

LOST: The Truth About Turniphead

Good. But still not great.

Last night's Lost focused on Kate (again) but it was one of her better episodes. We get to see the return of Cassidy and Clementine in non-infant form. Also some Richard Alpert goodness and more 1977 fun. Let's get started.

Ok, Ok, I'm a big liarhead
This episode showed us what happened to good ol' Turniphead when Kate decided she had to go back to the island and that Jack shouldn't ask her where the child was and should boink her instead. During Kate's flashbacks she fulfills her promise to Sawyer and visits Cassidy and gives her a large sum of money for Clementine. Cassidy knows better than to believe that Sawyer gave Kate the money and calls out such. Kate then essentially crumbles and tells her most of the true story. (If Lost were back on cool ground there would be more to Cassidy than meets the eye in my opinion) Anyway, Kate feels that she can still lie about who Aaron is, but once again Cassidy is a smart cookie and knows that he isn't her child.

Later, we get to see Kate and Aaron grocery shop (yes!) and she pulls a poor mother routine and loses the tyke. When she next seems him in the store, it appears that his real mother is taking him out, of course we know it's not her. Point of interest though: did you notice the grocery store clerk's face when she told him her son (that he had just seen 30 seconds before) was gone? He looked at her like she had just eaten a shitcookie. ie: confused.

After that, Kate decides that Aaron might be better off with his grandmum. So she packs him up in a hotel room, goes and tells Carol who she is, what happened and that Claire is alive. (Poor Carol by the way....I mean talk about a lot at once) Then she walks off and washes her hands of the Aaron situation, telling Carol she's returning to the island to find Claire.

Dude, That's Confusing
Back in Dharmaland in 1977 our Losties are still schmoozing with the Initiative. When Jin wakes up he sees injured little Ben and wait...his bullet hole was on the opposite side of his chest in the last episode. I've read some interesting theories on this. Anyway, they rush Ben off to the hospital where Juliet starts trying to save her future dictator's life. She can't fully fix him though, and sends for Jack. Mr. Shephard wants nothing to do with the situation though. He claims that he's "been there, done that" and that he won't operate on Linus to save his life again.

In this time period, Hurley and Miles have a rather amusing/interesting conversation on how their time jumping works. It's a case of What happened happened vs. we can change what occurs. I'm one of the "they can alter things" situation seeing as how if they can't, this is one big elaborate drawn out way of giving Dharma backstory.

Back to the Ben story, Kate and Roger have a couple of heart to hearts and they really try to show the softer side of Daddy Linus. (odd, right?) Juliet tries her hand at Jack being all "maybe the island is trying to fix things itself, I'm not getting involved" and catches him in the shower. Jack doesn'st seemed bothered by this fact, he doesn't even bother drying off before he put his shirt on. I don't get it.....unimportant.

Kate and Sawyer drag Ben outside the fence and set up a rendezvous with Maybelline man himself, Richard Alpert. He knows that it's Ben who was hurt and tells them that if he helps him that Ben won't remember any of it and that his innocence will be gone. He then reasks Kate if she's sure she wants him to take him. As he starts to walk off, one of the others asks if he should wait on word from Ellie and says that Charles wouldn't like it. This finally confirms that Charles does indeed seemingly take over as the head honcho of the Others. He says that he doesn't answer to either of them and then takes Ben into the temple. So have we changed something? Did Ben always get shot and go off into the temple and re-infiltrate Dharma?

Ohhh Shit.
Once young Ben is carried off into the temple, we flash up to 2007 with old Ben waking up to see Locke sitting as his bedside and tells him "welcome back to the land of the living". Ben looks like he may have soiled himself.

The Big Questions
1. Will Jack go back to the original Mr. Shephard or will he keep up his Locke-like attitude?
2. Have things been changed with Sayid shooting Ben or did it always happen?
3. Where did Alpert come from in the jungle?
4. Does he answer to anyone at all? What exactly is his place in the others?
5. Are Widmore and Hawking running the show with the others right now?
6. Will Locke finally just punch Ben senseless?

iTunes Can Lick My...

Starting April 7 (next Tuesday), the price of "hit" singles and some "classics" on iTunes will go past the already silly 99cent mark up to $1.29. Why? No one seems to know, it doesn't make too much sense. They are offering an "upside" to this fiasco though. These tracks will be DRM free. Woo-flippin-hoo. So are all the ones from GoMusic.Ru and Amazon.com (not to mention all the places you can get it for free...)

iTunes needs to be prison raped by a man named Butter.

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Jesus Really Does Love Me: Pizza Vending Machines

This orgasm inducing pizza vending machine, found in Europe right now, makes a complete fresh pizza in under three minutes. It costs about 6 Euros and looks like it would make me smile. I'd probably also end up running to the toilet shortly thereafter. You win some you lose some. Right toilet?

Subtle: Prom Whore Dress

Nothing in this wide world says "I'm ready to fulfill every sad teenage male's desire of sex on prom night" like this well....Vagina Gown. eww.

Even better? The watermark for the site selling it says Lightinthebox.com. Ewwww again. Wearing your roastbeef on the outside. Gross.

Microsoft: They Have A Sense Of Humor?

For April Fools day, (Today, huzzah! Fool!) Microsoft released the official game page of Alpine Legend. A new music game involving only yodeling and mountain horn. It's actually amusing. If you don't have a life. Like me.

I'm totally dying of cancer by the way. ::shifty eyes::